If you love someone...

Dear love,
It is almost time for you to go. This is about your life and not mine. I realize that now. As much as I want and even need you to stay, life is beautiful and changing and we have no power against it. Time will go on whether we like it or not. You are leaving and I am staying right here where I've always been. It is your time to move on and become your own person and it is not fair of me to hold you back. We need to let life push us where it wants us to go. If this means different roads for us, then that's how it needs to be. You have changed my life in a way that I will never be able to repay you. You have something magical in you that is almost tangible. A person like you does not come around every day. I feel so much beauty in life from you. And it's one of the hardest things I've done, but I have to let you go. There is someone out there who needs you just as much if not more than I do, and even though it's hard, I know it's the right thing to do. You know what they say; if you love someone, let them go. And if they don't come back, they were never yours in the first place. I'm putting my faith in fate and life, that our paths will continue to intertwine. I love you so much. I love you, and I'm letting you go.

tastes and colors

I just made an anklet out of floss from Robert's. I wanted it to have all this symbolism and meaning but it still just is an anklet to me. Then I was sitting here watching TLC with my family and I realized something.

Everyday I wake up and have a completely different mood. It seems like my days are painted over with one color that takes over everything I do. Everyday, I wake up and feel like this is how my life will be as long as I live. How 16 year old of me, right? If I am in a bad mood, I feel like I will never get out of it, but the same goes for good days. Everyday I wake up and get another taste of the world. Somedays it tastes like strawberries and then other days it tastes like burnt mac and cheese. If you know what I mean. Today could be the last taste of the world I get. Last night, I accidentally took expired TUMS at a sleepover and we were convinced we were going to die. But we had so much fun before we went to bed that the whole world tasted like smooth chocolate and my life was painted orange and yellow. Wouldn't that be a good taste to have left in your mouth if it was the last one you got? Everyday, I want to wake up and taste the world and savor it like it was the last taste I got. If it has to burnt mac and cheese, then I want every minute of that. If my day has to be colored grey or black, then let it. I would rather feel everything than nothing at all. 

I am so lucky to taste the world at all.