Nov 18, 2009

sometimes my fingers/brain need exercise

i had this really great blog post all planned out but i think i'll do it later
right now, i want to just let my fingers move and type whatever is coming into my head
i am listening to music and trying to distract myself from things. it really does help to listen to music. people make all those stupid songs that are like "music make you lose control" haha like that one hip-hop song that i think is ciara?  i dont know. music inspires so many people. everyone can understand it. how wonderful. right now, i am grateful to wolfmother for distracting me with their wonderful song vagabond. look it up. 
i think good friends are hard to find, but it is even harder to be a good friend that people want to find. i'm certainly not the best friend. i try to listen and  try to help but i guess sometimes its not really enough for some people. but thats natural. not everyone can like everyone. sometimes thats hard to face. i know it is for me. 
friends are really nice to have. they are also very delicate. all people are. sometimes being with a friend comes really natural and sometimes you have to push to keep the conversation going. 
i feel very awkward socially today. i had to push to keep most of my conversations going. but you know what? i don't think anyone noticed. i'm getting good at faking. some people you just can't relate to. 
i love the dave matthews band. it reminds me of my dad and my childhood because he would listen to this stuff all the time when i was little. its super comforting. right now i am listening to satellite. it's lovely, like a blanket that just got out the dryer. or hot chocolate. or a kitty.
i want to transfer to hillcrest. but that is a long story i will tell you later, my friend.
satellite is over. i don't like the song that's on.
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Oct 30, 2009

bros before hos

i think that is all that has to be said here.
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Oct 25, 2009

in ven shuhn



invention
[in-ven-shuhn]
1. the power or faculty of inventing, devising, or originating
2. an act or instance of creating or producing by exercise of the imagination, esp. in art, music, etc.

Everyone invents things. Everyone uses their imagination to create something no one else has before. 
Sometimes it's hard to put what you create out into the universe.  Who knows what people will think when they see it. It's easier to play it safe and keep it to yourself.
Okay, but think about it. 
If everyone kept their ideas to themselves, where would we be right now? Absolutely nowhere. 
Think of Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. (Funny movie). Everyone thought Flint's inventions were the stupidest things they had ever seen, but he still kept with it. And he had something great to offer, even if  no one accepted it at first. If Flint kept all of that to himself because he thought it was stupid, that little sardine town would still be in sardine world and Flint would be working with his dad in the tackle shop. He was capable of so much more.
I am totally scared of putting my ideas out there. But then I have to realize that every good idea came from a stupid idea (in a way). Thomas Edison's inventions aren't all still around and used today. Mia Michaels' dances aren't all big hits. No one likes everyone of Miley's songs. But they are all extremely talented people who took the risk anyways. 
We are all capable of inventing something amazing. We just need to be able to put ourselves out there, and grow from our ideas. Not everyone is going to like everything you do. But you'll never know what's amazing until you try. 





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Oct 8, 2009

be the first to give the love on bad days

I've had bad days.
Everyone has. 
The past few days have been bad days. I'll keep hoping I'll wake up tomorrow and find sunny skies....
I have learned something very important about bad days, that I think we all should learn.
Ready?
No one is going to treat you different if you are having a bad day.
Just because you failed your math test and broke up with your significant other that day does not mean that when you get home your mom isn't going to get on your case about cleaning your room and emptying the dishwasher. 
Just because you had this awesome proposal at work that everyone shot down, doesn't mean that the man in the dodge stratus next to you on the freeway will refrain from cutting you off. He's not even thinking about you. He has somewhere to be.
So here's what you should get out of all of this:
People are selfish. And if your day was crap, don't expect anyone to treat you any differently. They are thinking of themselves more often than not and will interact with you based on their day and not yours. 
I learned this the hard way.
It's a hard knock life, children.
If my mom had a good day, she wouldn't bug me about my room and probably sit down and try to talk with me instead.
If the guy in the dodge stratus didn't have somewhere to be, he would probably happily let you into the space in front of him.
There's no way of knowing. 

Now, here is what you really should get out of this:
The only thing we can do about this, is to be the bigger person. I promise it will help with your bad day. Be the first to give the love. You've had a crappy day, but you also have no idea what is going on in the minds of everyone around you. Maybe their day was equally crappy, or worse. They probably need a hug as much as you do. Stop thinking about yourself on your bad days and what happened to you, and instead think about what is happening to everyone around you. There are so many people in the world, it's simply ridiculous to think you are the most important one. Because you know what it's like to be down, lift someone up. 

I don't know about you, but I don't wish bad days on anyone. 
So let's learn from them.

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Aug 26, 2009

i think everyone should watch this

this is exactly what i want my life to be
gorgeous suited man and all
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Aug 24, 2009

i can feel

i believe that missing someone is one of the worst feelings in the world.
especially
when they don't miss you as much as you miss them

don't you think?
emotions are really weird.
and pretty cool if you think about it
human beings are capable of feeling so much
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Aug 13, 2009

i like this

I Believe...

I believe- 
that we don't have to change friends 
if we understand that friends change. 

I believe- 
that no matter how good a friend is, 
they're going to hurt you every 
once in a while and you must forgive 
them for that. 

I believe- 
that true friendship continues to grow, 
even over the longest distance. 
Same goes for true love. 

I believe- 
that you can do something in an instant 
that will give you heartache for life. 

I believe- 
that it's taking me a long time 
to become the person I want to be. 

I believe- 
that you should always leave loved ones 
with loving words. It may be the last 
time you see them. 

I believe- 
that you can keep going 
long after you can't. 

I believe- 
that we are responsible for what we do, 
no matter how we feel. 

I believe- 
that either you control your attitude 
or it controls you. 

I believe- 
that regardless of how hot and 
steamy a relationship is at first, 
the passion fades and there had 
better be something else to take 
its place. 

I believe- 
that heroes are the people 
who do what has to be done 
when it needs to be done, 
regardless of the consequences. 

I believe- 
that money is a lousy way of keeping score. 

I believe- 
that my best friend and I can do anything 
or nothing and have the best time. 

I believe- 
that sometimes the people you expect 
to kick you when you're down, 
will be the ones to help you get back up. 

I believe- 
that sometimes when I'm angry 
I have the right to be angry, 
but that doesn't give me 
the right to be cruel. 

I believe- 
that just because someone doesn't love 
you the way you want them to doesn't 
mean they don't love you with all they have. 

I believe- 
that maturity has more to do with 
what types of experiences you've had 
and what you've learned from them 
and less to do with how many 
birthdays you've celebrated. 

I believe- 
that it isn't always enough to be 
forgiven by others. Sometimes you 
have to learn to forgive yourself. 

I believe- 
that no matter how bad your heart is broken 
the world doesn't stop for your grief. 

I believe- 
that our background and circumstances 
may have influenced who we are, 
but we are responsible for who we become. 

I believe- 
that just because two people argue, 
it doesn't mean they don't love each other 
And just because they don't argue, 
it doesn't mean they do. 

I believe- 
that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a 
secret. It could change your life forever. 

I believe- 
that two people can look at the exact 
same thing and see something totally. 
different. 

I believe- 
that your life can be changed in a matter of 
hours by people who don't even know you. 

I believe- 
that even when you think you have no more 
to give, when a friend cries out to you 
you will find the strength to help. 

I believe- 
that credentials on the wall 
do not make you a decent human being. 

I believe- 
that the people you care about most in life 
are taken from you too soon. 

by Unknown
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Jul 21, 2009

absence makes the heart grow stronger

I hate...
needing you
wanting you

I hate that i can't control it

  

I hate that you don't care
I wish you would
And I hate it
I hate that I can't do anything to make you care


Most of all
I hate that you'll never miss me as much as I miss you
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Jun 16, 2009

the princess in the castle

Listen to this song:
All the while thinking of this:
There's a princess sitting in her room in her castle in a beautiful chair. The castle is loud and full of noise, but she is quiet in her chair observing and watching everything that is going on around her. She lives a beautiful life inside her castle but at the very same time that she is sitting there calmly, there are all the people outside of the castle going through so much pain and poverty. She is responsible, and mature, but also naive. She doesn't know what the people live like because she has been a princess her whole life. 
Now just imagine that scene in your mind. 



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May 15, 2009

.:lOve liSt:.maY 15 2009:.

Love List
May 15, 2009
This is for my Ayley, who goes right at the top of my list

This song is for you to listen to whilst looking at my loves

1. Umbrellas

2. Ukuleles

3. Pink glitter

4. Newport Beach, CA

5. Audrey Hepburn

6. Beautiful old houses

7. IRELAND

8. holding hands

9. candy necklaces
this is the one i'm wearing right now

10. latika's theme

11. puppy breath

12. children in africa

13. pokemon

14. awesome dragon pictures

15. people and the weird things they do

16. long thoughtful bike rides

17. my dad

18. clean teeth 

19. peanut butter m&m's

20. anne geddes

21. trees

22. dance

23. fields of flowers

24. disneyland

25. princesses

26. jonas brothers

27. hodown throw down

I could keep going. 
I probably will later.
This is cool for now :)


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Mar 11, 2009

MARCUS

Austin and Marcus (Austin was SO starstruck!)
My favorite Picture
Morgan?
Austin and Morgan after the show
The picture I wanted of Wise Guys Club

I went to go see Marcus' (my best friend's dad) show with my friends Morgan and Austin this Saturday. It was so fun. I didn't get half the jokes. But it was still hilarious. Welcome to Idaho! Hahaha tooo funny.  I love them. I would do that again anytime. Here are some pictures :)
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huh?

What is more than a psychic? This kid tells me that he can see the future in visions, but he's more than a psychic. He's not authorized to tell my kind what he is. What is my kind, you ask? Human. So he's more than psychic... and not human.... I wonder..
Then he tells me, "I just had a vision about your future. It does not look good for you. Watch your back and keep your eyes open." And that's all he can tell me, because I'm Human.
Scary, huh??
I'm very curious about this boy.
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iblog

I am a sick little girl! I have an ear infection and eye infection. Yuck, huh? I know. And now I'm isolated in my home because "contagious" or whatever. Oh what a sad life a sick person leads... I'm very lonely. I've been talking to my dog Ticky all day long because there's no else to talk to. They're all gone. They all have lives to go to. And talking to a dog is not very satisfying because they don't ever talk back.  Me? I get to sit and stay at home and listen to nerd rap all day long. My friends go "you're so lucky! You get to stay home and watch movies all day!". No, children. This is not luck, here. I have to be alone, and then I have to make up all of the work that I missed (and I've already missed two tests in the two days that I've been gone from school). And my ear hurts. I would trade you and go to school and have a life. I've watched Fern Gully about seven times, and I could sing the Batty Coda song to you by heart. Or toxic love. Hahaha oh that movie makes me laugh. I just wish I had someone to watch it with...
Oh well. Better go eat some more yogurt.
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Mar 1, 2009

iband

The class of rock performed at kilby court this past thursday, thanks to my amazing teacher mr. bliss. there were four total bands and i was in one of them. my friends were in the others.
This is my band the ultraviolets with our song p.o.x. (pissed off exes)
i wrote this song along with chey, at a certain polo shirted boy....
go here for the rest of our songs
www.youtube.com/user/ultravioletsultimate


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Jan 11, 2009

angel boy

I saw him again at the ice skating rink.
His name is Sam
Hannah and Sam? How cute
It's fate
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Jan 8, 2009

smash jason mraz

I'm angry.
I was driving home from dance and heard Jason Mraz singing "I'm yours" on radio disney. I got his huge burst of anger. I wanted to go punch his stupid face and break his stupid nose and smash his stupid, happy guitar and then burn those lyrics until they were nothing but stupid, unrecognizable, ash. I hated how blissfully happy he was when I was sitting here with unhappy and dry eyes burning in my crappy decisions. How can people be so happy when there's so much to be sad about?
If only I could just cry and then maybe the huge pit of absolute despair that is eating away all my organs will go away. It could be a release. But no. For now, I have nothing left to look forward to except maybe having the pit eat my liver so I can drink more apple tinis.
I'm kidding.
I want to destroy something. Do something destructive. I want this ugly pit to go away. I want to do something wreckless and crazy and get rid of it. This doesn't even correctly explain how I feel. This times a million.
And it's been like this since wednesday.
This stupid, ugly, monstrous, hole in my inside.
I hate boys.
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Jan 7, 2009

an angel at the ice rink

So Yesterday....
I went ice skating for Young Women's. I hadn't been in more than a year and so I thought I'd be good this time and maybe not cling to the wall like before. After about a half an hour I was shuffling around the ice like a semi-normal ice skater! But that's not the important thing that happened to me yesterday. I saw the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life. He was an absolute angel. He was wearing a grey abercrombie hoodie and jeans. His hair was longish curly, and a golden brown color. Almost blond, but had too much gold in it to be. He had really light brown eyes that shined and were absolutely gorgeous. He was tall and muscular. He looked like an angel. At first Sadie and I were just like "Oh yeah, that kid is pretty cute." But no. Then we realized (or at least I did) how gorgeous he was. I stayed on the ice forever just watching him skate even though my ankles were killing me. His smile was drop dead gorgeous, and made my heart stop every time. Soon my ankles got to be too much so I went back to go sit and watch from the seats behind the glass. Soon we were back out there, but to my disappointment he was gone. We decided to skate around one more time. As we were going on our last round, I look to my right to the glass wall. There was the angel boy. Standing behind the glass looking at me and smiling his drop dead gorgeous smile. I fell. I had to go sit down and stop hyperventilating and calm down for a while. That's how great it was. If I could just see him again and he could smile at me, I could die happily right there. It makes me so sad that I may not ever see him again. Seriously, if you put rob pattinson and the jonas brothers in a room with this kid, there would be no contest to who was the most beautiful. It wasn't just his looks, though, he just had the most beautiful spirit that was just radiating.
Stupid angel boy.
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haircut??


Okay another Rob Pattinson one.

I'd heard he'd shaved off his hair and it basically ruined my day. I told my best friend Morgan and we couldn't stop talking about. We were mad.
Then just barely I look up a picture of it.
You think you love his long hair.....
Please look to above and see his short hair.
Beautiful.




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